Self-trust is key infrastructure. But hang on, I'll just check with the internet first...
Newsletter #17
For many years, one way or another, I’ve found myself trusting technology, and even other people, more than I’ve trusted myself.
Here’s an example. I’ve never had a strong sense of direction, what I really mean is, I have no sense of direction! When I first moved to London in the mid-nineties, I constantly carried around a mini A–Z with me. It even had an X to mark the spot where I lived – so I could always find my way home.
When I was out with someone else, I’d happily follow their lead and not take any notice of how we got to where we were going. And with the birth of the smartphone, I started outsourcing my navigational skills and trust to a little blue dot on a digital map. Even when my body whispered "this doesn’t feel right," I’d keep blindly following its directions and path!
The thing is it often made things trickier rather than helping. Some maps, yes Google I’m looking at you, are cluttered with information I didn’t need and I also found the blue dot was often one step behind me. I’d turn a corner, the dot wouldn’t. And I’d freeze – second-guessing myself all over again.
Whilst training to become a digital wellbeing coach, I realised it wasn’t just me - praise be! Research shows people using GPS travel longer distances and make more stops than people using paper maps or local knowledge1. I also felt like the tech encouraging some kind of digital co-dependency and slowly eroding my own inbuilt skills and self-trust. Ok, ok, there were no inbuilt skills when it came to directions but this relationship was definitely not helping me build any new ones!
So I made a conscious decision to try and wean myself off the maps. In 2019, I started studying the route before leaving the house and chose paths I could easily remember, even if they were longer. And I found myself noticing more on my journey - picking out landmarks that worked as breadcrumbs to guide me back.
This pattern of outsourcing to digital technology hasn’t stopped with maps. I can see how it creeps into my Notion boards, my Google search history, and in more recent weeks even my use of AI. Each promises to make my life easier or give me more ‘control’ but also risks replacing something I actually want to develop and encourage in myself.
Which brings us to this week’s question:
Why this question?
No shame here. No judging. Just gentle noticing. Because otherwise we risk silently following digital pied pipers into the sunset as they say, “Follow me – this is the way.”
But if we follow without question, we lose track of what actually feels right to us. Decisions start to get made that don’t quite fit. Success gets measured with someone else’s ruler2. And we’ve got a new right-hand person leading the way, but we never even interviewed them for the job!
Self-trust isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s a key infrastructure. It’s what helps us build a business that matches the kind of human we are and support the kind of human we want to become.
Try this tool this week: Map Before You Move
Before making a small decision this week, pause and ask:
What tool or technology am I reaching for?
What do I already know, before I ask?
What’s left that I actually need to know?
Is the tool or the tech I was reaching for, still the best tool for the job?
You might realise that you know more than you thought you did. Stopping might reveal that your chosen guide isn’t the right one for this moment. Or you might go ahead and reach for the tech understanding what support you really need.
There isn’t one right route through business. You might take the scenic path. Or head straight down the motorway. But when you choose the path it will be me more memorable and feel more like yours.
Research backs this up. It shows that when people used AI to write essays they could quote less from them and felt less ownership of the work they produced than people who used their own brains only.3
I’m not suggesting we never use a digital guide because tech is super helpful. AND, it’s also fine to sometimes get lost in your business once in a while, after all that’s often how we find our way.
Till next week,
P.S. Know someone who’s following the blue dot? Send this their way or try restacking it on Substack - that way more people can find me!
Inspiration & Credits:
I hope giving some distance between sources and their links frees you from ending up in an unintended rabbit hole! If you’re interested though - click away!